The real reason you feel like sh*t
Motherhood depletion
(aka: Why you feel like crap all the time after having babies)
There’s this thing that nobody talks about after pregnancy. There’s a huge list of physical, emotional, and mood + brain symptoms that often show up in new moms, and feel random and disconnected to each other. But the truth is they are all part of a bigger piece of what happens to our bodies after pregnancy, and it’s extremely likely that no healthcare provider warned you about them.
Your baby stole your nutrients and left you deficient.
So if you have one or more of these symptoms since giving birth, keep reading. And good news, you’re not going crazy, and these are treatable.
Joint pain, hair loss/breakage, fatigue, acne, weak immunity/ recurring infections, dry skin or dry eyes, low bone density, headaches, brain fog, anxiety, depression, insomnia, irregular cycles, erratic moods, weight loss resistance, low libido, secondary infertility. This is a <short list> of signs that pregnancy, postpartum, and the physical and mental stress of motherhood have left you drained.
Science calls it postpartum or postnatal depletion, but I call it Motherhood Depletion because it tends to linger far beyond what one might consider “the postpartum period.” Left unchecked, symptoms can drag on for months, years or decades after we’re out of that 4th trimester.
In really simple terms - your baby stole all your nutrients. Quite literally drained your cup. And until you get them back, postpartum recovery can’t be complete, hormones can’t balance and you can’t feel like you again!
(clarity - you’re not like, actually taking them back from your kid. You’ll get some fresh new ones)
We talk a lot about “filling your cup” as moms. If we could just take an hour or two out of each and every day to soak in a bath, go for a massage, read a book just for fun, or sleep when the baby sleeps then we’d feel better. It’s our fault that we aren’t prioritizing “self care” - and this is why moms feel so drained, depleted, moody, and like a new but not improved version of our pre-baby selves.
Well I’m here to call BS on that. It’s not that our cup isn’t being properly filled. There are freakin’ holes and cracks everywhere in our mom cups, and no matter how much you pour back in, it will never stay full. We’re in a constant game of catch up, and need to change the way we look at taking care of ourselves.
The holes are nutrient deficiencies, which happens in 100% of new moms, and shows up as many, many different physical, hormonal, and mental-emotional symptoms that all seem unrelated.
The cracks are hormonal imbalances, which can only be fully addressed when our nutrients are filled back up.
We’re screaming “Self Care!!!!!” at new moms without actually addressing the elephant in the room that is the severe physical depletions and changes that are expected to happen after giving birth that literally no one is helping moms address.
This isn’t self care, this is health care, and we’re failing new moms every step of the way, starting with not taking a proper look at nutrient depletions after baby.
In this article I’m going into detail about the various symptoms we’re often told is “just motherhood!” “it’s normal!” but is actually a symptom of a nutrient deficiency and Motherhood Depletion.
Why is this so common?
Baby making is….expensive. (cue the moms in the room who went through IVF to conceive and a collective “No Sh!t!”). But I’m not talking about financially expensive here, I mean nutritionally expensive.
Think of your nutrients like a bank account - and by nutrients I mean our macronutrients like protein, fat, carbohydrates, total calorie balance and all of our vitamins and minerals. We’re constantly spending from this nutrient bank everyday, and some days we are writing way more checks from the account than other days. (Also, LOL who writes checks?)
Any good financial advisor will tell you that in order to have a healthy bank account, we need at least as much money coming in as going out. And just like our bank account, there are certain times that we have more going out than usual from our nutrient bank, and need to add more into the account in order to not be overdrawn.
The reproductive years are the seasons of our life that require a higher amount of all nutrients going in so that our account remains in balance. An overdrawn account = symptoms of nutrient depletions.
Let’s look at why this season of our life is so nutrient demanding.
Fertility and our reproductive system require an enormous amount of nutrients to stay functioning. I see many fertility issues related to undiagnosed deficiencies, and this is always my first round of testing for my patients. I don’t see very many people going into pregnancy with a fully topped off set of nutrients (even if conception was easy for them), so we’re usually starting off at a deficit. Also did you know the birth control pill depletes about 10 different nutrients? Were you on the pill for 10+ years before baby like most women I know?
Pregnancy itself requires so much! Most of us are fairly aware of this, and that’s why we eat a bit more and take some prenatal supplements. In general, this is usually enough to keep baby growing and developing, but often mom still comes out the other end depleted. And since prenatal care is mainly baby-focused and postpartum care is virtually nonexistent in countries like the US, these depletions almost always go unchecked.
After birth is where the nutrient demand really kicks into overdrive, at precisely the same time that we stop paying attention to eating well and many of us stop taking our supplemental nutrients!
Physical recovery from delivery itself, whether vaginal or c-section, requires a ton of calories, proteins, vitamins and minerals. And I’m not just talking about the first few days.
The calorie and vitamin/ mineral needs of a breastfeeding mother are actually significantly higher than during pregnancy. So we can get further depleted from nursing, if applicable.
Lack of sleep and the hormonal cascade that happens after birth burns through more nutrients, and those hormones that just came crashing down can’t go back up if they are missing key building blocks.
And then, you know, skipping meals or not eating them in the right balance which is oh so common for a new, tired, depleted mom. I also see that even moms who are saying they are “eating clean” or “eating healthy” are eating in a way that was good for pre-baby them, but not for their new, high nutrient needs.
So as you can see - this is why 100% of the moms I work with have symptoms of nutrient deficiencies! And this is also why an epsom salt bath with lavender oil is great and all, but is not going to do much in the way of helping your day to day energy levels and hormone balance if you don't have time to feed yourself and are literally running on empty.
Let’s look at some examples!
Fatigue.
This is the biggest complaint that I receive, that is the most often written off as “just motherhood.” (Cue my postpartum dietitian rage!!). Fatigue is related to low B vitamins, low protein, irregular blood sugar highs and lows, low minerals and basically any nutrient deficiency out there because so many nutrients provide or metabolize energy. Functional micronutrient testing can be really helpful here.
Mood issues.
From general moodiness to full blown depression and anxiety - there is a HUGE link back to nutrition. Now of course, there are also many environmental reasons as well so we always want to take a multi-pronged approach here (read: keep seeing your therapist). But nutrition is not often talked about even though we have quite a lot of research linking various nutrient deficiencies, gut health, and hormonal changes back to mood and mental health.
Insomnia.
Postpartum insomnia, aka sleep torture for moms. Finally have your little one sleeping longer stretches but you’re laying in bed awake? The worst!! Really similarly to the above link to mood and mental health, I’ve seen very dramatic changes in sleep trouble by working on nutrition and nutrient replenishment.
Joint Pain.
This is much more common in the first year after baby than most people realize! This is partially related to a drop in estrogen which plays an anti-inflammatory role, and residual relaxin hormone still hanging around. Supporting estrogen, plus replenishing antioxidants, Vitamin D, electrolytes and essential fatty acids can reduce inflammation and increase mobility. (Important - if joint and muscle pain is so bad you can’t move or get out of bed, go to your doctor to get this checked out. This is beyond the typical joint pain I’m talking about here).
Hair Loss.
Yes, this is “common” postpartum and there’s an expected amount of loss that happens around the 4 month mark. When it is more severe than average or drags on past 1 year, I often see this correlate with low mineral stores, low B vitamins, and low protein (and it can also be a thyroid condition, which can be triggered by nutrient depletions too!). Hair breakage also fits in this category - if hair isn’t getting what it needs, it can’t stay strong and moisturized.
Acne.
Postpartum Acne is a thing! Who knew! When we’re missing the nutrients required to properly detox estrogen and testosterone, adult acne can show up. I also see this related to low mineral stores and lack of anti-inflammatory foods and spices.
Decreased Immunity.
Oh this is a big one! Nope, moms don’t just get sick because of germy kids at daycare and preschool. The immune system needs a ton of minerals, B vitamins, antioxidants and also gut bacteria to be functional. Get sick every time kiddo has a runny nose? Recurrent mastitis or vaginal infections? Your body is telling you it’s malnourished. High stress (which also increases nutrient demand) can also tank the immune system.
Dry Skin and Dry Eyes.
This can also show up as a sudden increase in fine lines, scratchy dry eyes, rashes and dry skin. Some of these are hormonally related as well (low estrogen decreases skin moisture, as does low thyroid), but if we’re deficient in certain minerals and not getting the right amino acids to support collagen and minerals to support moisture and elasticity, down goes skin integrity.
Headaches.
When electrolytes or blood sugar are out of whack, fluid intake is too low, or nutrients needed to decrease physical tension or supply the brain with its essential fatty acids or nutrients like iron and B12, headaches and migraines can show up.
What to do?
First step - eat! Check out my article on what to eat after having a baby for more specifics, and get more help on the how-to of eating for postpartum in my Mother Recover program.
Next, keep taking your prenatal multivitamins for at least a year post birth. Remember, your nutrient needs are HIGHER after delivery and remain high if you are breastfeeding. Which supplements should you take? I go over my favorites in this New Mama Supplement Guide.
Lastly - get checked! At a bare minimum, ask your doctor for a full iron panel with ferritin, Vitamin D, b12, and Zinc tests. I always send my patients for these and also include a comprehensive micronutrient test that gives us data on all your vitamins, minerals, amino acids, omega 3 fats and antioxidants. To learn more about how to become a patient in the Motherwell practice, head over here.
